*WARNING THIS BLOG DOES NOT CONTAIN AN OUNCE OF HUMOR IN IT SO IF YOU DONT LIKE READING THINGS THAT ARE SERIOUS OR ARE EASILY OFFENDED OR AN OVERY EMOTIONAL AND SENSITIVE PERSON DONT READ THIS BLOG AND WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE I DO!*
Have you ever bumped into someone you haven't seen in what seems like forever? and then all of a sudden all of those feelings you were trying not to have in the first place just all of a sudden comeback? It was weird because I'll be the first one to admit that when I get the chance to go outside I try to avoid people I know. I don't really want anything to do with anybody that's why I cut ties with people, I sever bonds, they forget me and I forget them and that's it I'm happy! they're happy! and the world is a better place. That's who I am and who I've always wanted to be. I don't get attached to people and have always hated when people get attached to me! That's not very wise considering the fact that I'm a loner.
As quick as I make friends I can cut them off even quicker and just forget that person ever existed. I don't give people the chance to get to really know me and I have to say I'm somewhat shocked when people consider me a friend and a "bro" I've gotten used to it though because in the end I know you'll either walk out of my life or get kicked out by me if you try and stick around for too long you'll either get hurt or and and as for me I couldn't care less thats one reason why I was extremely happy to get sick and stay out of contact with people! Now that I've shed a little bit of light as to what kind of person I am lets gets back to the whole point of why I decided to do this blog in the first place, feelings that just came out of nowhere! I've only ever wanted to change who I was for 4 people. How ever, I wont get into all these stories about all these girls because you guys don't need that information, let's just focus on one.
Seeing her again actually made me regret for a split second the choices I've made and who I was. The second I seen her all the feelings I was trying not to have for her seemed to come rushing back and I remembered how hard I tried to push her away. I realized how successful I was in what I was trying to accomplish seeing her with someone else! Pushing her away, trying to make it seem like I didn't care and leaving her life so she could fall for someone else. I never realized how good I was at this until I saw them together and at that moment all I thought about was missed opportunities and that 1% of regret that I had that quickly fell to 0 when I realized I'm better off this way.
It's true that I'm not happy but I'm satisfied and I'm okay with that! I don't believe in love on this earth because I've only seen it in God and not people, which is okay because I wouldn't want love from anybody on this earth anyway. You can't get married or be in a relationship when you don't believe or even hate love on this earth which of course is what I do. With that said I'm satisfied with how things are and that's good enough for me...
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Carnign, I respect your opinion on everything and I can see where you are coming from. Dude, when you were uber sick for a long time and I didn't hear anything from you on Twitter, I honestly did get worried for you. I checked your page once in a while to see if you had tweeted anything and I was genuinely excited to see you come back and tweet again. That being said, I honestly look at you and see my bro. You are one of the most solid dudes I know on Twitter and one that I respect a ton. And with all that due respect, I'm not trying to change your mind because you have reasons why you believe what you do and those are VERY valid reason, whatever they are. You are right that in humans, love is not perfect and will never be. The only perfect love we'll ever find comes straight from our Father and our Savior. But I do believe that love resides on earth if you give it a chance. People will make mistakes, fail, and hurt you once in a while but that's not to say they don't love you. But as human beings, we've been created in the image of God. And if God is perfect love then at some level all humans are capable of love... true, genuine love that comes from the heart. I know that I love my family and I know that I love my girlfriend because in both relationships the love has been tested. My family has done things to hurt me and I've hurt them and with my girl and I, our relationship has been tested to see if it's true and if we really are committed to one another. But in both cases, no matter what happened, there is still love and ultimately forgiveness, to forget the ways they've hurt me and I've hurt them. I'm not saying you're wrong, my brother, I'm just giving you my point of view. I am a strong believer that it is not God's intention for man to be alone unless He has spoken to that man to remain single. I used to think that I was going to be alone forever, until God flipped my life upside down and let me meet Ericka. Like I said, I respect your opinions and beliefs 100%... I just want to give my opinion on it. Keep writing the blogs man, I've appreciated every single one!
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